Some years ago, I got into a conversation
with a lady who obviously in her words had been battered and had
terrible heartbreaks from several relationships she had gotten into…
She said to me “Darling, I love you so much and I never would want you to experience a bit of what I have experienced in the hands of Men”. I could see sincerity mixed with pains in her eyes…she continued as I gave her my rapt attention…
“I know you love him, I have been there, but trust me dear, do not ever join the league of ladies who put all their eggs in one basket , guard your heart jealously, do not ever let down your guard for a guy… they will let you down cos ALL MEN ARE CHEAT” she said emphatically.
Friends, If you ask many ladies “why that mindset?” Something is usually unanimous: BAD EXPERIENCES FROM PAST RELATIONSHIPS!
It became more interesting and shocking when I got to know it’s the same mindset in Men’s World, some of which are; “Every woman has a price, give her good cash and she will fall”
“Women only love those with big pockets” etc
This made me resolve in my heart to do a research on this topic “WHY PEOPLE CHEAT” (both men and women)
Let me briefly intimate you with the summary of the result of my research.
-Ridiculous Sexual Exploration: Lust and cravings for sex from different ladies as a means of satisfying sexual appetite.
-Lack of trust: A woman who has the history or re-occurrence of infidelity in her home may never be able to earn the trust of the man.
-Genetic background: Medically, it has been proven that infidelity can be genetic…A man whose history (parent, grandparent etc) indicates marital unfaithfulness may find himself helplessly struggling with it no matter how much he tries…Genuine repentance and salvation should be sought after.
-Ego Boost: Just the same way some men feel ‘every real man drinks’, that’s exactly how some male folks believe “keeping just one woman is a sign of weakness.” so as to boost their ego they go in search of more women…This is really absurd and it’s a sign of inferiority complex.
-Peer Pressure: Words from friends is one of the major things that molds the life of an individual, that’s why it’s impossible to walk with kings and not have a trace of royalty. In the same vein, continuously listening to gists from friends regarding their unfaithfulness could eventually lead to one getting involved in the act too… Remember, bad company corrupts good manner…the righteous man should choose his friend carefully.
-Insecurity/uncertainty: An undefined relationship could pose a major threat to a woman’s life. A lady that is not sure of the direction of her spouse as to what intention/marriage plans he has for the relationship may find it difficult to stick to him as a result she might want to open her heart to potential prospects.
-Past heart break: There is a general saying ‘once beaten, twice shy’ .Women are more emotional beings than men. A lady who was betrayed by a guy she deeply loved and trusted may find it really hard trusting the next as a result she may not be totally committed to one guy.
-Societal/Peer Pressure: We are in a world where social media has taken over and “following” celebrities is one of the most trending thing to do, majority are molding their lives based on what they see others do, other people’s opinions etc and as a result terrible decision could be made.
However, at some other time it is impossible to totally eliminate the possibility of meeting one or two new persons that will be a threat or major distraction from your spouse. At that point, if proper caution is not taken, you may begin to see your spouse as a “trash” ready to be disposed.
Truth be told, for both parties to remain faithful to each other, CONTENTMENT is of great importance. The love and value you place on your spouse will determine how well you will handle distractions from other guys/ladies when they come. TRUST is also another factor that has to be built in every marital relationship that will last. A relationship without trust is like a house built on sand…with time no matter how much they try it will crash.
Above all, WISDOM IS THE PRINCIPAL THING required to build an healthy marital relationship.
“A wise woman builds her home” (openness to learn more about your spouse and act on knowledge gained)
“A wise man learns how to protect, love and cherish his spouse as well” (he isn’t easily distracted by every passing ‘fly’). Spend time on molding her to become that alluring and godly taste you have in outsiders and your relationship together would be an experience of happiness and romance.
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